Tumblr Mobile Upgrade

The upgraded tumblr app (I think it’s V3.0) is actually excellent. Seriously, a bazillion times better than the previous one. It looks better and it doesn’t crash. If you use tumblr, I recommend you download it, even if you hated the previous version.

Spray Tan

You've got somewhere to be. Somewhere nice. Maybe it's prom and you want to look good in your new dress. Or maybe you're going on holiday and don't want to look vampirically white while you wait to tan naturally. You decide to get a fake tan.

Stop right there.

Seriously, don't fucking move. I'm going to try and make one thing perfectly clear to you right now: nobody in the history of the universe has ever looked good with fake tan on. Nobody. It's just not possible, okay?

It's one of these things you think looks good, like hair extensions or fake nails or the duck face. Fake tan looks fake. You don't look tanned, you look like one of these:

Now, I like oranges as much as the next guy - for a start, they're a great source of vitamin C. But they're not exactly attractive.

So remember, fake tan won't make you look pretty; it'll make you look stupid.

[You'll also smell like pennies]

God Save The Queen

I decided to write this out of confusion and frustration. Half of Britain is (or was; I posted this a couple of weeks ago on Tumblr.) jumping for joy over the queen’s diamond jubilee, and I don’t know why. I mean, what has she done for you lately?

I don’t hate the royals. Really, they seem like pleasant enough people. I bear them no ill will. But I can’t say, truthfully, that I think we need a monarchy.

Now, this isn’t exactly a popular opinion. Tell someone you’re not a fan of the monarchy and you’ll most likely be accused of being bitter at best and unpatriotic at worst.

The thing is, I’m not so sure that a person is unpatriotic just because they don’t worship the queen. As far as I can tell, the royal family isn’t particularly helpful to us.

I would understand it if the royals were in charge, but they are not. We have a democratically elected government to make decisions and create laws. I’m not saying they’re doing very well, but they do fulfil a purpose. The royal family, as I see it, does not. They are the remnants of a bygone era.

Of course, one can argue that they help with tourism. There may be some truth there. I’m sure plenty of people visit Britain at least in part becuase of the royal family. It’s so very British. Now , all this tourism does of course bring in money. But, in case you weren’t aware, the royal family spends a bazillion pounds - of the taxpayers’ money - a day. Okay, it might not be a bazillion pounds - that’s probably not even a number - but it is a lot of money. So, when all is said and done, they probably don’t contribute significantly to the economy.

What I’m really trying to say is this; we have a monarchy, and I don’t see the point. I just don’t. And I’m usually pretty good at understanding both sides of an arguement. But with this…I’m sorry, I can’t do it.

For all that, I’m well aware it doesn’t matter a damn what I think. Even if every person in Britain voted to get rid of the monarchy, to demote them, if you will, it would never happen. Britain is really old. We’ve had royals for ever. And so much is based on that idea. Loads of stuff - mostly boring, official stuff, mind - is done in the name of the crown, especially in England. It would be no easy task to restructure things to make Britain a monarch-less country. Just think about the government for a moment. They can’t reform anything. Certainly, they can’t do a good job of it. *cough* NHS *cough* No, neither this government nor any other in the foreseeable future would be up to the task of sorting things out if the monarchy was dethroned. But in any case it doesn’t matter much. We’ll never get rid of the good old royal family.

But we probably should, because they aren’t doing us any favours.

I Hope They're Lying

I just got an email from AllOut.org

What follows is the first paragraph of that email:

"A woman is raped every 17 seconds in South Africa. Many of the victims of rape in South Africa are lesbians or women who "appear" gay. Some call it "corrective" rape - to turn lesbians straight - but that's not the whole story. These attacks are often a brutal punishment for not behaving like a "real woman" or daring to love who you choose."

I hope they're lying, because that is a terrifying statistic.

Chrome for iOS

For all you wise people out there who use Google Chrome as your browser of choice, I have wonderful news: it's now available on iOS. That means if you're one of the bazillion people who has an iPod, iPhone, or iPad, you can use a real browser instead of Safari. And because i'm so nice, I'll even give you a download link.

If you'd like to read a little more about the app and what it means for mobile web browsing, read this article.

Chris Brown Fans - What Pleasant People They Are

This is a post I meant to write a while ago and never got round to. But I'm doing it now, and that's what counts, right?

Kelly Oxford is a Canadian writer. She also happens to be rather "Twitter famous" - at the time of writing she's just shy of 370,000 followers. Anyway, a while back she tweeted about Chris Brown. You know, the guy who punched Rihanna in the face? That guy. Here's that tweet:

That's fine, right? She's just poking fun at his "music".

Now, Chris Brown fans weren't too happy about her making fun of him, and they were very vocal about their unhappiness. Here are the responses to that tweet - at least, all I was able to get:

It's nice to see that these guys take criticism of the guy so well. That they handle it with such maturity. Especially the top one, @jayxocmb. She's really sensible and polite and doesn't take things too seriously at all.  Remind me to annoy as many Chris Brown fans as I possibly can.

The thing that really amazes me is that all these people are defending him, despite knowing that he's okay with punching women in the face. They see a man guilty of domestic violence and think that it's okay because he's a celebrity. I really don't know who I hate more: Chris Brown, or his fans/

Homoeopathic Medicine

I was watching a bit of Grand Designs a few weeks ago, because I have an exciting life. Anyhow, the couple making the “grand design” where talking to Kevin McCloud about their reasons for deciding to do it. Long story short the husband had a brain tumour, and they felt they wanted to get out of the city and live in the country. The reason for this was they felt they couldn't manage the treatment in the noise and bustle of London.

That’s what I getting at here; the treatment. They decided not to go down the traditional route of chemotherapy, radiotherapy and such. No, they decided to treat the cancer with a diet. I am not joking. The idea is that following an organic, vegan diet, you can cure a brain tumour.

I shouldn’t judge.

And yet, I will.

I’m a great believer in medicine. Medicine works. We can prove that it works. Indeed, you have to prove medicines or medical procedures work before you can start using them on people outside of a clinical trial. We know that chemotherapy and radiotherapy can make a difference, that these treatments can save lives. Sadly, they don’t always work. They don’t. And they’re not pleasant. In fact, chemotherapy looks more like killing someone than saving them. But still, if I happen to get cancer or a tumour during my life - and rates are depressingly high - I will most certainly go to a hospital and get treatment. I think that works.

On the other hand, I happen to think that fruit and soya milk doesn’t. The first thought is perhaps the most natural, irrational one: it doesn’t seem very substantial. Compared to injections and pills, diet doesn’t feel like it would have much sway over your health. Of course, just because something doesn’t seem like it’s going to work is no reason to ignore it. So let’s look at the evidence.

This is where it gets worrying. In nearly every area, there is little or no evidence to suggest that alternative or homoeopathic medicine is more beneficial that standard medical practices. Yet people still believe that alternative medicine (read: voodoo) works. And that seems dangerous. Believing something without evidence is never a good idea, but when it comes to medicine you're risking your life if you delude yourself.

I suppose you have to do what you think is best. But when it comes to medicine, please, let science tell you what's best.

Have a Listen

Following up on last night's post "Survival", I thought I'd drop you a YouTube link to the song. You know, because I'm helpful like that.

It's worth noting that in just over 15 hours, this video has been watched more than 160,000 times. Which is pretty impressive.